Black Hat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
evilopportunityemployer) wrote2019-04-25 07:38 pm
evilopportunityemployer) wrote2019-04-25 07:38 pm
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[Jack's been having A Time. Ever since those wishscapes...he just hasn't been quite himself. Lots of time locked in his lab or his workshop, lots of time ranting to his raccoon, lots of time at the Red Room getting human and smashed. And lots of time idly entertaining new and interesting ways to kill people.]
[But he's too social a creature to just keep all his thoughts to himself. Besides, he has some questions that maybe some of his buddies are better equipped to answer. Which is why Black Hat gets a text mail alert at ass o'clock at night.]
hey do u think if u stuffed a dude full of really dry hay n grass n reely flammable shit n then tied him out liek on top of a mountin in the middle of summer undr a glass lens, he'd burst in2 flames?
[But he's too social a creature to just keep all his thoughts to himself. Besides, he has some questions that maybe some of his buddies are better equipped to answer. Which is why Black Hat gets a text mail alert at ass o'clock at night.]
hey do u think if u stuffed a dude full of really dry hay n grass n reely flammable shit n then tied him out liek on top of a mountin in the middle of summer undr a glass lens, he'd burst in2 flames?
This is the right address for Black Hat, isn't it?
Are you available to answer a few questions?
Are you available to answer a few questions?
There once was a boy who was a Halloween fanatic. He loved dressing up for Halloween, he loved pulling pranks and watching horror movies, and above everything else... he loved candy. One fateful year, while he went trick-or-treating, he visited a house. This house was creepy as hell! It was big, it was old, it smelled like a grandmother and it was owned by a happy, old rich couple. The boy came here thinking that he would be handed out big chocolate bars, because it was a rich person's house but when he knocked on their door... he was handed a bag of that shitty candy that nobody likes! Tootsie rolls, shitty flavoured dum-dums, those weird... peanut things... needless to say, the boy was heartbroken. He was so heartbroken that he died, right there on their porch and now, every Halloween he goes out and finds people to curse. He wants everyone to suffer the same way he did!
Everybody is already suffering from his curse!! Send this to ten people to break the curse, or to avoid getting cursed, or you'll be stuck looking freakier than usual for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!
Everybody is already suffering from his curse!! Send this to ten people to break the curse, or to avoid getting cursed, or you'll be stuck looking freakier than usual for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!
yo bh, u got sum time 4 a meeting 2 c wut we can get up n running by the holiday? ben doing sum major work.
Late November, following the poacher investigation [In person/BHO apartment]
fightorflug
2019-12-03 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
"That should about cover it."
[Flug exhales, moving to close up the laptop, the movement taking far more out of the spider than it should. Lucidity and wakefulness have come and gone the better half of the week since Black Hat retrieved him. His dehydrated legs remain bunched up by his side but a little more color is returning to his pallid complexion, not that anyone other than those with a keen eye would notice with how little skin he showed. At least the doctor was finally catching up on sleep.]
"Anything else you wanted to say, handsome boss? They're requesting an eventual meetup; a bar one of the informant's run. I already know the location, I've been there before."
[Flug exhales, moving to close up the laptop, the movement taking far more out of the spider than it should. Lucidity and wakefulness have come and gone the better half of the week since Black Hat retrieved him. His dehydrated legs remain bunched up by his side but a little more color is returning to his pallid complexion, not that anyone other than those with a keen eye would notice with how little skin he showed. At least the doctor was finally catching up on sleep.]
"Anything else you wanted to say, handsome boss? They're requesting an eventual meetup; a bar one of the informant's run. I already know the location, I've been there before."
[It was a week after their additional 'hired' help had left, a few days after the quarantine had been lifted and they could resupply at last. With no further distractions-- and no shortage of caffeine-- Dr. Flug pushed through the last of the build into the early hours of dawn, surveying the project with an old manic gleam in his eye; one that hasn't been present in a long, long while.]
"Hm, hm. Now let's see... the Wise-Disguise, Skin-sifter, or Match-O'matic..."
[One never could turn off the marketing side of their brain. Flug pulls a lever, a satisfying click and whirl signifying that all systems are go. They had done it! They had built their own Disguise Machine. Sure theirs didn't match the blueprint to a t; it was better. Flug was confident, even if they were not the first team to finish theirs, this would print faster, with better quality, last longer-- and for their plan, quality mattered now more than ever.
Flug turns back to see if his boss was watching. It was time.]
"Sir? It's ready."
"Hm, hm. Now let's see... the Wise-Disguise, Skin-sifter, or Match-O'matic..."
[One never could turn off the marketing side of their brain. Flug pulls a lever, a satisfying click and whirl signifying that all systems are go. They had done it! They had built their own Disguise Machine. Sure theirs didn't match the blueprint to a t; it was better. Flug was confident, even if they were not the first team to finish theirs, this would print faster, with better quality, last longer-- and for their plan, quality mattered now more than ever.
Flug turns back to see if his boss was watching. It was time.]
"Sir? It's ready."
"Well that went …" [Crazy? Disastrous? Terrible but not as bad it could have been?] "...productively." [Flug decides, walking forward to unlock the lair's entrance for his boss. Ah, home sweet home!
Okay, so it didn't go as swimmingly as Jiro had likely hoped but in the end they secured an alliance, mostly, and all parties went home with the minimal amount of injuries and deaths. It was a start. A strange endeavour, considering their stances on morality but ultimately a smart one, Flug was proud Black Hat was smart enough to see the advantages it brought without his ego blinding him.
And it had been so good to see that old spark ignite in Black Hat again! Even if it had been unexpected, that trademark mischievous grin of his had been absent for far too long. The doctor had been getting worried.]
"Not the most skilled bunch, maybe."
[Some of their old clients were hardly the sharpest knives in the box. Flug hangs up his coat, automatically assisting Black Hat in his own domestic rituals]
"But it will be good to extend our reach a little more through them."
[Maybe now with that squared away things could return to how they were before. Those blissful two weeks prior to that awful tree growing into their lives.]
"Get back on track…"
Okay, so it didn't go as swimmingly as Jiro had likely hoped but in the end they secured an alliance, mostly, and all parties went home with the minimal amount of injuries and deaths. It was a start. A strange endeavour, considering their stances on morality but ultimately a smart one, Flug was proud Black Hat was smart enough to see the advantages it brought without his ego blinding him.
And it had been so good to see that old spark ignite in Black Hat again! Even if it had been unexpected, that trademark mischievous grin of his had been absent for far too long. The doctor had been getting worried.]
"Not the most skilled bunch, maybe."
[Some of their old clients were hardly the sharpest knives in the box. Flug hangs up his coat, automatically assisting Black Hat in his own domestic rituals]
"But it will be good to extend our reach a little more through them."
[Maybe now with that squared away things could return to how they were before. Those blissful two weeks prior to that awful tree growing into their lives.]
"Get back on track…"
[Jiro had set about messaging Flug a few times today; it hasn't been a lot of messages, but a fair amount.
The party's not until May, so it isn't urgent she gets ahold of him... but it doesn't feel right that someone like Flug wouldn't answer even later into the day.
She can't help the weird feeling in her hollow gut... so she hits up her next best bet for getting in touch with the doctor she's got: Black Hat himself.]
hey uh sorry for hitting you up out of the blue
but is flug doing okay?
i tried messaging him earlier today but he hasn't gotten back to me, feels a little weird for a guy like him
The party's not until May, so it isn't urgent she gets ahold of him... but it doesn't feel right that someone like Flug wouldn't answer even later into the day.
She can't help the weird feeling in her hollow gut... so she hits up her next best bet for getting in touch with the doctor she's got: Black Hat himself.]
hey uh sorry for hitting you up out of the blue
but is flug doing okay?
i tried messaging him earlier today but he hasn't gotten back to me, feels a little weird for a guy like him
[The journey back from Brasa is a long one but eventually Black Hat and Flug make it home with a surprise guest (and unbeknownst to them, soon to be three more) in tow. Once Demencia is settled in and in the throes of a deep sleep, a bleary eyed Flug makes his way to the lounge area.
Of course an equally sleepless Black Hat is already there. They both know what this is about.
Very carefully and gently, Flug makes sure the door behind them both is closed before gripping his face in hushed panic!]
"She is going to kill me!!"
Of course an equally sleepless Black Hat is already there. They both know what this is about.
Very carefully and gently, Flug makes sure the door behind them both is closed before gripping his face in hushed panic!]
"She is going to kill me!!"
[< unknown user > has sent a video. Press to view? >]
"Hello boss.
It's me. It's Flug. Uh. Checking in."
[Indeed it is. His bag has seen better days and his coat is practically dyed pink, the quality of the video is intensely shoddy, poor lighting barely conveying the backdrop to be that of some interior of a house, but there is no mistaking that this is in fact, Black Hat's inventor.]
"Sorry I know you don't like video. This keyboard doesn't really work. I kind of broke all the keys when I bashed it- Anyway I wanted you to know that I- I am alive, sir.
I'm trying to get home but there have been some.. complications.]
"Hello boss.
It's me. It's Flug. Uh. Checking in."
[Indeed it is. His bag has seen better days and his coat is practically dyed pink, the quality of the video is intensely shoddy, poor lighting barely conveying the backdrop to be that of some interior of a house, but there is no mistaking that this is in fact, Black Hat's inventor.]
"Sorry I know you don't like video. This keyboard doesn't really work. I kind of broke all the keys when I bashed it- Anyway I wanted you to know that I- I am alive, sir.
I'm trying to get home but there have been some.. complications.]
Back at the Lair [Morning of 9/23 after Truthsayer Event]
fightorflug
2020-09-25 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[The door to the BHO lair flaps open, hanging ajar ominously and greeting Flug with the sight of broken security precautions as well as a growing sense of dread. He should have tried to come back quicker. Maybe he wouldn't win the fight when Demencia inevitably followed but at least some of his precious experiments and equipment might have survived. Is there anything left?
The text Flug had recieved sounded a lot more like the Black Hat Flug knew. When the scientist found the summons to return, he didn't delay-- only now as he stares down the ominous unlit halls does the old familiar fear of delivering bad news start to eat away at his nerves. Unless he's read too much into this and the gooey-eyed imposter is still around. Somehow that's worse.]
"I, uh, I'm back, Mr. Black Hat."
[He peeks about meekly, taking note of the various acts of vandalism his feral co-worker left in her wake before seemingly storming off.]
"Sir..?"
[Hm. He doesn't see his boss in his typical chair. Maybe the kitchen..?]
The text Flug had recieved sounded a lot more like the Black Hat Flug knew. When the scientist found the summons to return, he didn't delay-- only now as he stares down the ominous unlit halls does the old familiar fear of delivering bad news start to eat away at his nerves. Unless he's read too much into this and the gooey-eyed imposter is still around. Somehow that's worse.]
"I, uh, I'm back, Mr. Black Hat."
[He peeks about meekly, taking note of the various acts of vandalism his feral co-worker left in her wake before seemingly storming off.]
"Sir..?"
[Hm. He doesn't see his boss in his typical chair. Maybe the kitchen..?]
[ Throughout the day, under different usernames (except Demencia's usual handle, of course), Black Hat will get the same message in his inbox: ]
There once was a boy who was a Halloween fanatic. He loved dressing up for Halloween, he loved pulling pranks and watching horror movies, and above everything else... he loved candy. One fateful year, while he went trick-or-treating, he visited a house. This house was creepy as hell! It was big, it was old, it smelled like a grandmother and it was owned by a happy, old rich couple. The boy came here thinking that he would be handed out big chocolate bars, because it was a rich person's house but when he knocked on their door... he was handed a bag of that shitty candy that nobody likes! Tootsie rolls, shitty flavoured dum-dums, those weird... peanut things... needless to say, the boy was heartbroken. He was so heartbroken that he died, right there on their porch and now, every Halloween he goes out and finds people to curse. He wants everyone to suffer the same way he did!
Everybody is already suffering from his curse!! Send this to ten people to break the curse, or to avoid getting cursed, or you'll be stuck looking freakier than usual for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!
There once was a boy who was a Halloween fanatic. He loved dressing up for Halloween, he loved pulling pranks and watching horror movies, and above everything else... he loved candy. One fateful year, while he went trick-or-treating, he visited a house. This house was creepy as hell! It was big, it was old, it smelled like a grandmother and it was owned by a happy, old rich couple. The boy came here thinking that he would be handed out big chocolate bars, because it was a rich person's house but when he knocked on their door... he was handed a bag of that shitty candy that nobody likes! Tootsie rolls, shitty flavoured dum-dums, those weird... peanut things... needless to say, the boy was heartbroken. He was so heartbroken that he died, right there on their porch and now, every Halloween he goes out and finds people to curse. He wants everyone to suffer the same way he did!
Everybody is already suffering from his curse!! Send this to ten people to break the curse, or to avoid getting cursed, or you'll be stuck looking freakier than usual for the rest of your life!!!!!!!!!!
What kind of details are we talking here?
[ Look, he's also sus. ]
[ Look, he's also sus. ]
so, about that weird post on the network...
4/F - god stuff, obviously
KAEO - keep an eye on
DGW - something about their status as a doctor
and some guesses, take these with a grain of salt:
Po - could mean "Potential" or denotes someone they think isn't a threat
NeGu - either "Needs Guidance" or might mean they're missing information
WKIN - no goddamn clue what it could stand for, but it might indicate someone they think IS a threat
it's not much, but i thought you'd find it interesting.
4/F - god stuff, obviously
KAEO - keep an eye on
DGW - something about their status as a doctor
and some guesses, take these with a grain of salt:
Po - could mean "Potential" or denotes someone they think isn't a threat
NeGu - either "Needs Guidance" or might mean they're missing information
WKIN - no goddamn clue what it could stand for, but it might indicate someone they think IS a threat
it's not much, but i thought you'd find it interesting.
Black Hat doesn't seem like the Christmas-ing type, but Virgil tends to want to stay on his good side so he gets a gift anyway, a new sleek black tie made of fireproof material
This is your OFFICIAL notification that the monster pinup calendar photoshoot has been delayed to January 18th, owing to blizzards, burning, alien flesh parasites, and death. Sorry for the short notice, but your friendly neighborhood organizers were trapped in a death hotel, so. Deal with it.
In the meantime, this gives YOU more time to think about the shoot! As you're a Demon, your calendar month will be October, with the theme of Halloween. Your fellow monsters are JOJO and Archmage on the Network; so maybe give them a holler, and see what you can cook up! And oh, all RIGHT, you've got Halloween, bust out some Jack the Ripper if you really want to.
If you have any questions or concerns, or if you died and need to be excused, let us know.
- Harley Quinn
In the meantime, this gives YOU more time to think about the shoot! As you're a Demon, your calendar month will be October, with the theme of Halloween. Your fellow monsters are JOJO and Archmage on the Network; so maybe give them a holler, and see what you can cook up! And oh, all RIGHT, you've got Halloween, bust out some Jack the Ripper if you really want to.
If you have any questions or concerns, or if you died and need to be excused, let us know.
- Harley Quinn
The people here are largely useless in the giving of advice.
How did you adjust to being human. I've quickly realized the miserable bare minimum of maintaining this body is leaving me without strength. I cannot sit by in this apartment sleeping and waiting for my power to return for a month.
How did you adjust to being human. I've quickly realized the miserable bare minimum of maintaining this body is leaving me without strength. I cannot sit by in this apartment sleeping and waiting for my power to return for a month.
Edited 2021-02-08 19:22 (UTC)
[It broke; it broke; it was a fog night and it broke. His neighbors are going to be ravenous and he’s menu item #1. Flug has to get out of here and get out of here now! But where to go? Hiding with a monster will be too dangerous but humans will suspect he is a creature himself breaking in to feast on them, even with a busted disguise! His luck has finally run out tonight. There’s no escape. And then…
Then he was here. Awake, on a bed. Back at the lair. HIS evil lair. Flug can’t help it. He laughs.]
“I KNEW IT!” [He cackles and springs from the mattress, whirling around with his perfectly working spider legs and the swish of his lab coat. That’s right, THIS is who he is! Doctor Flugslys certified mad Scientist and evil villain genius extraordinaire! And like a real genius he immediately reaches for his face and accidentally pokes one of his extra eyes. Ouch! Yup! They’re real. In your FACE people who didn’t exist!! And speaking of things that are real--]
“I knew it! I knew it was real, I knew I—AHH!!!”
[He shrieks at the inevitable appearance of a certain demon, no doubt hearing the commotion. No offense Black Hat. It’s. Just a lot to see you.]
“They tried to tell me that you weren’t, but I knew— I.”
[He takes a second to catch his breath and just… revere.]
“I knew.”
Then he was here. Awake, on a bed. Back at the lair. HIS evil lair. Flug can’t help it. He laughs.]
“I KNEW IT!” [He cackles and springs from the mattress, whirling around with his perfectly working spider legs and the swish of his lab coat. That’s right, THIS is who he is! Doctor Flugslys certified mad Scientist and evil villain genius extraordinaire! And like a real genius he immediately reaches for his face and accidentally pokes one of his extra eyes. Ouch! Yup! They’re real. In your FACE people who didn’t exist!! And speaking of things that are real--]
“I knew it! I knew it was real, I knew I—AHH!!!”
[He shrieks at the inevitable appearance of a certain demon, no doubt hearing the commotion. No offense Black Hat. It’s. Just a lot to see you.]
“They tried to tell me that you weren’t, but I knew— I.”
[He takes a second to catch his breath and just… revere.]
“I knew.”
[Despite practically living in the same bedroom these days, it still feels wrong to not knock first, considering the 'hiring' fiasco that just went down in the lab.]
"Malevolent Boss?"
[His glove hitting the door feels eerily reminiscent to all those times he approached Black Hat's office doors, early on in his years at his job, nervous yet eager. How could someone get hired who never even experienced that?]
"Y-your arms, ah. I thought you might want to get them treated?" [Okay, less of 'might want' and more like 'you should' because Flug knows all too well what those claws get up to, and being a demon doesn't excuse you from getting those wounds infected when you stab them right through your own skin!]
"The crews are all out to process their footage, I made sure they didn't follow me."
"Malevolent Boss?"
[His glove hitting the door feels eerily reminiscent to all those times he approached Black Hat's office doors, early on in his years at his job, nervous yet eager. How could someone get hired who never even experienced that?]
"Y-your arms, ah. I thought you might want to get them treated?" [Okay, less of 'might want' and more like 'you should' because Flug knows all too well what those claws get up to, and being a demon doesn't excuse you from getting those wounds infected when you stab them right through your own skin!]
"The crews are all out to process their footage, I made sure they didn't follow me."
Hello, Lord Black Hat. We spoke on the network several days ago. I was interested in possibly meeting you in person. How comfortable are you with the idea of aiding a hero with his own personal goals?
Not that much, I am sure.
How about if I tell you that I terminated 34 supers on my little island?
:)
Not that much, I am sure.
How about if I tell you that I terminated 34 supers on my little island?
:)
Virgil considers himself, well, on fine terms with Black Hat. At least he worked hard and hadn't gotten himself killed.
What he has now, though, is something he's sure Black Hat will like.
Virgil strolls into the lab and right up to the demon, two hands tucked into his pockets. Shockingly confident. "Boss, I've got something you're going to want to see."
Presumably Black Hat wouldn't want him to beat around the bush. "I inherited a few things from Majima when he disappeared. One seems to be a barn containing artifacts of the vessel from Mr. Evangelisti's portal."
What he has now, though, is something he's sure Black Hat will like.
Virgil strolls into the lab and right up to the demon, two hands tucked into his pockets. Shockingly confident. "Boss, I've got something you're going to want to see."
Presumably Black Hat wouldn't want him to beat around the bush. "I inherited a few things from Majima when he disappeared. One seems to be a barn containing artifacts of the vessel from Mr. Evangelisti's portal."
You actually did seem bored and I'm not going to play favorites with you and AM.
Would you like a treat?
Also--- a distraction?
Also I'm experimenting with cake modling. Want to eat a savory cake that looks like a baby? I forgot to check if Margaret is still "here", but the urge to send her a Baby Jesus cake effigy anonymously strikes me as a great plan. :)
Would you like a treat?
Also--- a distraction?
Also I'm experimenting with cake modling. Want to eat a savory cake that looks like a baby? I forgot to check if Margaret is still "here", but the urge to send her a Baby Jesus cake effigy anonymously strikes me as a great plan. :)
Ho ho ho! Merry freaking Christmas!
Your Secret Santa recipient this year is Sonic ("BlueBlur69" on the network). Please buy, make, or otherwise procure him a nice gift before December 26! You can give this directly, or label it clearly and drop it off at Crowe Clinic C/O Hawkeye Pierce.
Remember: Saint Nick is watching, and he knows where you live!
Happy Holidays, etcetera, and so forth,
Santa Claus
Your Secret Santa recipient this year is Sonic ("BlueBlur69" on the network). Please buy, make, or otherwise procure him a nice gift before December 26! You can give this directly, or label it clearly and drop it off at Crowe Clinic C/O Hawkeye Pierce.
Remember: Saint Nick is watching, and he knows where you live!
Happy Holidays, etcetera, and so forth,
Santa Claus
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