*** BlackHat has joined 333.07.333.06 <BlackHat> ^J help <BlackHat> help <BlackHat> J <BlackHat> Official business with Black Hat only. Don't waste my time.
[He could break the door down with all the fervor in the world, or it could swing open under the first blow, as it wasn't fully closed in the first place. Black Hat didn't have time to make sure when he rushed in here.
His head has already turned to the door at the sound of Flug's voice, and the sight he presents is a severely unkempt one. Missing are the coat and vest he usually sports; his shirt is half-untucked, the tails hanging out. His monocle is missing as well, leaving the dark eye exposed as blood wells from it. The shattered glass is mostly within the shower, but some shards have left minor oozing cuts on his wing.
Bracing against the toilet, Black Hat leverages himself up.]
Flug. Where have you- [His eyes widen in alarm, and he snaps his head back over the toilet just in time to vomit again. It's over quickly, and, shaking, he carelessly wipes his mouth on his sleeve.]
Where have you been? [He'd be far angrier if he didn't feel so miserable.]
[Flug's life flashes before his eyes as Black Hat nearly lurches in his direction-- PLEASE DON'T MELT HIS FACE OFF LIKE YOUR LAST ASSISTANT PLEASEDON'TMELTHISFACE-- before thankfully changing course. Even if Flug was much more suited to surviving his saliva in Ryslig, one never knew in these circumstances. Needless to say, this is not what Flug expected to find when he didn't so much as bust the door down but rather very hurriedly launched himself in. Black Hat looks like he is feeling positively wretched, and little does the doctor know how fitting that phrase would be, given the cause of his master's ailment.]
"Demencia- she--" [Another cringe. Wow. That is a lot to purge. Flug tries to clear some glass away, using his spider legs like a broom, awkwardly placing his hand on Black Hat's back]
"..I-I believe she may have gone rogue sir. She knows. E-everyone knows."
Really. And what gave you that idea? I was tipped off by the vandalism, personally.
[He hunches over the toilet again to retch, a horrible, grinding sound. The evil flu wasn't this bad. Never has he felt so battered. Growling, he pulls himself back upright for a moment.]
Of course they do. I was a fucking bleeding heart all over the network - any half-literate fool could have figured it out.
[The memories haunt him. The things he said, the things he did, and now one of his belongings has decided to turn traitor and run over a so-called 'broken heart'! His body convulses, painfully, his claws digging into the porcelain.]
Treacle. I called you treacle. I despise sweets! And those- hurgghhk- [Back over the bowl he goes. And in spite of every part of his being rejecting goodness at any turn, the hand on his back does provide some relief. Just a bit - he doesn't pull away from it.]
"Erm. Yeah." [Flug frowned, seeing the mirror reveal even more broken heart grafitti and slashed depictions of his bag spread around the walls. He tracks them with begrudging admiration as they just keep going on and on.]
"She certainly is very... thorough when she wants to be. If only she showed as much dedication to anything else. Just."
[Another cringe; how, how does Black Hat almost manage to sound like a chainsaw like this?]
"Just let it out sir." [Flug continues to rub soothingly, spurred on by the lack of rejection. With his other hand he reaches to flush, it doesn't seem like this is subsiding any time soon.]
"Demencia w-we'll contend with. A-and the network, people will forget that soon enough." [No they won't, oh they are so so screwed, no amount of coverup will fix this any time soon.]
[Black Hat watches as the bile flushes down the drain, reluctantly accepting that the back rub is helping. His wings sag a little as the tension in them drains away.
Demencia. She's turned traitor but it won't last - his claws are too tightly wound in her heart.]
She'll come crawling back. She can't stay away from me for too long; maybe she'll smack her head against something and lose all memory of what she's found out.
[This is just a fit, he tells himself. A temporary fit, like what plagues him now.]
People may not want to remember the events, but they will recall what they learned.
[They'd be fools not to. Hell, he's never going to hear the end of this from AM, is he. At least he can temper it by reminding the other demon of his outpouring of love.]
It doesn't matter. What's done is done; now I have to fix all this. [Bracing his hands to the seat, he unsteadily starts to lever himself up. Where to even start?] All that charity... find a place where the homeless gather and torch it, that's a start.
[He's muttering to himself now, beating back another wave of pain as he tries to stand.]
"Certainly, my boss." [Flug lends an arm, ready to support Black Hat if he needs it for balance; like a loyal suboordinate should; like Demencia has forgotten she is supposed to be doing. The claw marks the Manticore left in him will take a while to heal but they're thankfully patched, still Black Hat will feel the deep grooves in Flug's arm beneath the bandages if puts any pressure on it.]
"We'll correct any misconceptions done in your name." [Parroting back the terrible orders is second nature and Flug never thought he would be so relieved to hear Black Hat spouting them again.]
"O-of course they don't have your money, you know..?"
[Black Hat gets to his feet and sways almost immediately. Normally, his pride would prevent him from taking advantage of assistance when it's offered, but his reserves have been drained entirely. Flug saw him in a far worse state than needing assistance to walk - he saw him faffing about handing out candies and rescuing kittens. There's no pride left.
Black Hat seizes the offered arm, using Flug to hold steady. He folds his wings in as tightly as he is able, and his talons click softly on the floor as he walks towards the door.]
Correct them all and collect interest. We'll take the clothes off the survivors' backs and- [He halts, blinking, and turns his head to Flug.]
What do you mean they don't have my money? I gave- [He gags.] I gave it to them.
"Because I do. I took it from them." [Flug blinks, thinking about how that sounds.]
"N-not to have robbed you, sir, I robbed them! T-that is--" [Honestly he's surprised he was able to keep that under wraps, Flug felt he nearly gave it away several times. Okay, deep breathe, one that isn't hard to take with way Black Hat grips his arm.]
"After I saw AM buy out an entire bakery, I knew I couldn't let this-this ailment affect our finances. So. I. took measures into my own hands. S-sorry sir." [Not that he regrets it, of course not, and Flug certainly doesn't look or sound apologetic but defying Black Hat is still defying Black Hat.]
[Black Hat makes no sound as Flug explains, nor does he for a few seconds after. It takes a moment to process, to comprehend that not only is his money not in the hands of the homeless, but it is, indeed, within his own possession.
It's the best news he's heard in ages. Of course, there were more good deeds than just those to turn to misdeeds, but to hear that Flug, dutiful, loyal Flug, vile, wicked Flug had been tailing him silently and robbing the poor, ripping their happiness from them after a kindly demon gave them a ladder to climb out of their destitution....
He could kiss Flug right now. In fact, that's exactly what he's going to do.
Black Hat grabs the front of the bag with his free hand and rips it, exposing the lower half of Flug's face. Discarding the torn scrap of paper, he crashes his mouth onto Flug's, a bit more roughly than he intended (but hardly to his objection; he's always preferred roughness). He tastes of blood, acid, and bile, and he's thrown perhaps a bit more of his weight forward than he'll be able to recover from, but but it doesn't matter because his Flug, his partner, prevented the abomination of Black Hat, philanthropist, from existing for more than the span of time it took him to steal back what was given away.]
[YOUR MOUTH, BLACK HAT--! It's more an attack than a kiss and for a horrified moment Flug fears Black Hat hasn't returned to normal at all-- except that weepy sap would never have been this bold. Flug expects to gag, he nearly does-- UGH that breathe must be rancid right now-- but the doctor finds it isn't as revolting as he expected; he supposes that would follow after eating the man's heart. At least something this minor won't trigger his hunting instincts.
He clumsily backstops, bending away, his startled surprise mixing up signals, until the implication hits him like a freight train: Black Hat isn't furious at him. He is not even close to angry, this is not at all how Flug thought this would go!
Despite it all, Flug finds himself gripping back fiercely, determined to give back as much he is gets, even while attempting to pull his face back when a blooming wave of discomfort hits his jaw.]
"Wait, Sir, my tooth--"
[Flug tries to grip the counter for balance and misses--]
[Rancid it is, but mixed with the odd taste of his blood. When he feels Flug trying to bend away Black Hat grabs Flug's shirt and pulls, his other hand closing even tighter and pressing into the grooves on Flug's arm, ones Black Hat hasn't quite noticed. He's not refusing this, he cannot pull away, he cannot reject Black Hat, cannot deny him like Demencia, he won't allow-
-and then Flug is pressing back and the rising anger cools away. Of course Flug wouldn't leave. Not when he has this.
Black Hat finally takes note of the odd indents in Flug's arm, just as Flug pulls back again, and this time he too breaks away, a look of surprise on his face. Whether it's over Flug's words, the damage on his arm, or the fact that he's realized he's severely off-balance doesn't matter, because with Flug's missed grab for the counter the pair of them topple over entirely.
Black Hat makes a noise best described as a rattling oomph as they hit the floor, but at least he's not the one currently sandwiched between said floor and a sickly demon.]
[Accompanying Black Hat's impactful grunt is Flug's signature squeak. It is not a graceful fall, it's true, but what little mass the scrawny inventor possesses does cushion the demon's landing, leaving Flug grimacing while his tongue feels for the busted tooth in his discomfited mouth. He doesn't dare shove Black Hat off, instead his hands migrate to the other's hips to just.. hold him steady, ready to assist when Black Hat is prepared to climb off. No telling what might trigger more nausea.]
"I think I still have most of it. Should regrow w-with the fog. She got my jaw good." [This close Flug can really take in how unwell Black Hat is looking, however. He carefully lifts one of his gloved hands to get a better look of the unusual eye socket, resting a finger just gently below. Is that blood..?]
"Your eye..?" [It's not as though Flug has seen Black Hat sick as it is, but this symptom is worrisome.]
[His grip on Flug relaxes entirely, though if it's from the shock of falling flat or from deciding he doesn't need to hold too tightly anymore is unclear.]
She...? [Ah. It takes him a moment, but there's really only one 'she' who would harm Flug without cause.] She came after you.
[Of all the blasted things- they're both in a right state, aren't they. Demencia will answer for her transgressions. Fleeing the Organization, attacking Flug, all over a delusion that was never real.
He doesn't answer the question about his eye; indeed, Black Hat makes no indication he's planning to get off Flug at the moment. Instead, he lets his head fall against Flug's hand, a wave of fatigue taking over. His wings go slack, and he simply lays there, resting.]
[It's a moment of respite they both need. When Black Hat gives in and all but uses Flug's hand for a pillow, the doctor carefully lowers Black Hat down against his chest, where Black Hat will hear the high strung tempo of his heart slow to a steadier rhythm. His other arm returns to tracing soothing circles between the demon's shoulder blades.
This was fine. They weren't lying on glass and with the door still open they were at risk of being discovered like this, but then... they don't have to worry about that anymore, now do they?]
"It's good to have you back, boss."
[Even for merely a week that insanity lasted far too long.]
“Any longer and I half expected you might propose.”
[A muffled rasp accompanies a lifted finger and a short full-body twitch.]
Bad to have me back.
[Look, Flug, his poor system has been through the wringer, he doesn't want to risk a small trigger setting off another bout of nausea! His hand drops back down.
He audibly groans at the mention of a proposal and turns his head to lay it sideways, undoubtably putting a great deal of hat in Flug's face.]
Hell's bells, I may very well have. [He groans again and shudders.]
"Bad, yes, Of course." [Flug smirks, yes, this is his Black Hat. Flug hadn't known how it was possible to miss someone when they had technically still been around but it was getting hard to argue that the empty husk of his demon employer didn't bare a closer resemblance than the man who weeped at kittens. There certainly is a lot of hat in the arachne's face, he tries to shift his own head to accomodate and still see.]
"I didn't take you for someone who would even know much about marital tradition-- N-no offense. Just learning a ritual where you're technically sanctified under someone else, I wouldn't think you would have bothered."
[Not that he WANTS you to propose.]
"Makes me wonder if anyone actually did." [That's at least a bit of harmless schadenfreude they can snicker at.]
I'll have you know I'm an accomplished widower. Widow too, on occasion. The most lavish engagement rings sell for a pretty penny, a little bonus on top of the estate's value.
[Talking about past misdeeds gives a certain spark to his voice. Black Hat shifts a bit, settling his wings down into a loose fold, the thumbclaws resting on the tile floor on either side of Flug. Very slightly, he arches up into the back rub.]
Oh, probably. What I'd give to see the settling over who legally owns what assets after the divorce.
"Well yes, if you're selling to them, it's easy to price gouge a--" [Wait, no he's talking about actively have been the--]
"So you have been married?! A-a LOT! To..?" [But HOW? WHY? How could Flug miss this detail?!]
"To.. seize their lands and fortune and oh for evil's sake why didn't I see this coming?"
[That's horrible, and cunning, and mildly hilarious and exactly Black Hat. Flug smacks a hand over his face to cope with the shame. It feels like a quiz he just failed.]
[That actually gets a laugh out of Black Hat, a sharp and mocking thing that shifts into a raspy cough. Once he gets a hold of himself, he launches into a regaling of bits of his past, relishing in the memories.]
Most of them had no idea what they were getting into until the moment my ribcage exploded outward and I sprouted extra limbs and a few additional sets of eyes for good measure. The ones that did had deluded themselves in one way or another. Evangeline tried to poison me first; I left her a quarter of the estate's value in the divorce, as well as helping her escape the growing suspicion surrounding her involvement with her previous seven dead husbands.
[He chuckles.] Her descendants are card-carrying VIPs. Twisted to the bone, the lot of them.
[Black Hat turns his head to look at Flug directly now, planting his chin firmly into the arachne's sternum.]
Not still what? Married? [A sharp smile cuts across his face; his tongue flicks out to lick away a trail of blood that ran too close to his mouth.]
"So that's the story behind Miss Evangeline and her family." [Flug whispers in awe. He might not know every client but certain VIP names did stick out, he always wondered how some members got roped in. That line of thought lasts for about five seconds before Black Hat's laughter gets to him.
Mockery! He's being mocked!!]
"No!" [Flug huffs petulantly, averting his gaze. His bag is hiding nothing of his embarrassment but having Black Hat in his face grinning like that does nothing to help. It's not like he WANTS marriage but to be denied something so many others have had before, that he more than is qualified for..!]
"You're oozing all over my shirt." [He complains. You laugh, you lose pillow privelidges! Not that he can actually enforce that.]
[Black Hat confirms it with a tilt of his head. He doesn't bother keeping track of how every single individual comes under his sway; the number is too great. VIP standouts are another matter entirely.
He laughs again at Flug's petulance.]
Really? I thought I detected a hint of jealousy. [After all, marriage is a very human bonding sort of thing. It's not surprising Flug might crave it. But Black Hat has a very different view of the matter.]
I wouldn't marry you anyway. I'm not planning on having you disappear under tragic and mysterious circumstances, leaving all your earthly belongings to me and me alone.
[He divorced the only spouse who earned a shred of respect from him; Flug has passed that stage some time ago.]
Oozing-? Oh. [His eye. Black Hat grumbles, the brief foray into the past washing away with his present condition. He's a right mess, isn't he? He grabs a handful of Flug's shirt, a part that hasn't been stained black yet, and scrubs at his face.]
"Mostly because they already do?" [Flug grumbles beneath his breathe, but Black Hat is right, why does he care about this? Is he actually envious of the dead who were conned into a ceremony that meant nothing? This was silly.
And then Black Hat has to go and answer his complaint with an even ruder reaction.]
"Aaand I suppose I needed to get rid of this shirt." [A victory for Black Hat's personal tastes--! Not that Flug doesn't have others. The eyeball goo not withstanding, Demencia put some sizable claw marks in the side and any traces of her stinger's residue would be unpleasant at best to come across later.
Fine. He's just taking it off. Except he can't, pinned down like this, so instead he'll just, reach for the already shredded parts and start to rip. That eye drip is still worrisome though...]
"We should put a patch over that, might help it to clot faster."
[Black Hat brings his hand up and flicks Flug harshly on the bit of nose exposed by his bag. Their faces are close enough together, don't think he didn't hear that!
A victory indeed! Black Hat leaps at the opening.]
Indeed; I'll burn it later and get you a new one. [Something in line with his tastes rather than Flug's - a dress shirt, perhaps, with a proper collar and high maintenance care.
As Flug starts shredding his own shirt, Black Hat cups a hand over his eye.]
It's not injured, Flug, it's... [How to explain...?] It's reacting.
[He's still not making any moves to get up. Lying like this is helping him feel a bit better.]
[Flug makes a disgruntled noise and scrunches his face at the flick. Okay, that's quite enough jabs at his expense, he is at least going to start trying to prop himself up on his elbows.]
"O-oh. That's.. very generous boss, but I can find something." [Though that last admission gives him pause.]
"Reacting? Then it's part of your illness?"
[Makes sense, eyes could water or experience irritation during other ailments. Maybe he shouldn't move Black Hat, Flug got so caught in their banter he forgot how awful the other had been looking when they started.]
[Black Hat still won't move; instead, as Flug starts shifting around to get up, he sort of... slides down Flug's chest an inch, his back arching slightly. Perhaps a small part of his mind is registering this as a chance for petty payback for the time he had to ever so gently work his way out from below Flug.
The whole bit about Flug being in that state because Black Hat ate his soul is unimportant.]
No, I insist. [Flug is not taking away a chance for Black Hat to improve his wardrobe and gaining an upperhand in that ongoing stalemate!]
I was forced to act against my very nature for a week. This backlash isn't surprising. I just need- [He coughs.] -to balance the scales, tip myself back in the wrong direction.
[He smirks up at Flug and drops his voice.] You've already gotten a start on that.
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evilopportunityemployer) wrote2019-04-25 07:38 pm
just assume all previous cws still apply going forward
His head has already turned to the door at the sound of Flug's voice, and the sight he presents is a severely unkempt one. Missing are the coat and vest he usually sports; his shirt is half-untucked, the tails hanging out. His monocle is missing as well, leaving the dark eye exposed as blood wells from it. The shattered glass is mostly within the shower, but some shards have left minor oozing cuts on his wing.
Bracing against the toilet, Black Hat leverages himself up.]
Flug. Where have you- [His eyes widen in alarm, and he snaps his head back over the toilet just in time to vomit again. It's over quickly, and, shaking, he carelessly wipes his mouth on his sleeve.]
Where have you been? [He'd be far angrier if he didn't feel so miserable.]
yes perma all mentioned CWs:
Needless to say, this is not what Flug expected to find when he didn't so much as bust the door down but rather very hurriedly launched himself in. Black Hat looks like he is feeling positively wretched, and little does the doctor know how fitting that phrase would be, given the cause of his master's ailment.]
"Demencia- she--" [Another cringe. Wow. That is a lot to purge. Flug tries to clear some glass away, using his spider legs like a broom, awkwardly placing his hand on Black Hat's back]
"..I-I believe she may have gone rogue sir. She knows. E-everyone knows."
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[He hunches over the toilet again to retch, a horrible, grinding sound. The evil flu wasn't this bad. Never has he felt so battered. Growling, he pulls himself back upright for a moment.]
Of course they do. I was a fucking bleeding heart all over the network - any half-literate fool could have figured it out.
[The memories haunt him. The things he said, the things he did, and now one of his belongings has decided to turn traitor and run over a so-called 'broken heart'! His body convulses, painfully, his claws digging into the porcelain.]
Treacle. I called you treacle. I despise sweets! And those- hurgghhk- [Back over the bowl he goes. And in spite of every part of his being rejecting goodness at any turn, the hand on his back does provide some relief. Just a bit - he doesn't pull away from it.]
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"She certainly is very... thorough when she wants to be. If only she showed as much dedication to anything else. Just."
[Another cringe; how, how does Black Hat almost manage to sound like a chainsaw like this?]
"Just let it out sir." [Flug continues to rub soothingly, spurred on by the lack of rejection. With his other hand he reaches to flush, it doesn't seem like this is subsiding any time soon.]
"Demencia w-we'll contend with. A-and the network, people will forget that soon enough." [No they won't, oh they are so so screwed, no amount of coverup will fix this any time soon.]
"No one wants to remember last week, as it is."
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Demencia. She's turned traitor but it won't last - his claws are too tightly wound in her heart.]
She'll come crawling back. She can't stay away from me for too long; maybe she'll smack her head against something and lose all memory of what she's found out.
[This is just a fit, he tells himself. A temporary fit, like what plagues him now.]
People may not want to remember the events, but they will recall what they learned.
[They'd be fools not to. Hell, he's never going to hear the end of this from AM, is he. At least he can temper it by reminding the other demon of his outpouring of love.]
It doesn't matter. What's done is done; now I have to fix all this. [Bracing his hands to the seat, he unsteadily starts to lever himself up. Where to even start?] All that charity... find a place where the homeless gather and torch it, that's a start.
[He's muttering to himself now, beating back another wave of pain as he tries to stand.]
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"We'll correct any misconceptions done in your name." [Parroting back the terrible orders is second nature and Flug never thought he would be so relieved to hear Black Hat spouting them again.]
"O-of course they don't have your money, you know..?"
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Black Hat seizes the offered arm, using Flug to hold steady. He folds his wings in as tightly as he is able, and his talons click softly on the floor as he walks towards the door.]
Correct them all and collect interest. We'll take the clothes off the survivors' backs and- [He halts, blinking, and turns his head to Flug.]
What do you mean they don't have my money? I gave- [He gags.] I gave it to them.
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"N-not to have robbed you, sir, I robbed them! T-that is--" [Honestly he's surprised he was able to keep that under wraps, Flug felt he nearly gave it away several times. Okay, deep breathe, one that isn't hard to take with way Black Hat grips his arm.]
"After I saw AM buy out an entire bakery, I knew I couldn't let this-this ailment affect our finances. So. I. took measures into my own hands. S-sorry sir." [Not that he regrets it, of course not, and Flug certainly doesn't look or sound apologetic but defying Black Hat is still defying Black Hat.]
no subject
It's the best news he's heard in ages. Of course, there were more good deeds than just those to turn to misdeeds, but to hear that Flug, dutiful, loyal Flug, vile, wicked Flug had been tailing him silently and robbing the poor, ripping their happiness from them after a kindly demon gave them a ladder to climb out of their destitution....
He could kiss Flug right now. In fact, that's exactly what he's going to do.
Black Hat grabs the front of the bag with his free hand and rips it, exposing the lower half of Flug's face. Discarding the torn scrap of paper, he crashes his mouth onto Flug's, a bit more roughly than he intended (but hardly to his objection; he's always preferred roughness). He tastes of blood, acid, and bile, and he's thrown perhaps a bit more of his weight forward than he'll be able to recover from, but but it doesn't matter because his Flug, his partner, prevented the abomination of Black Hat, philanthropist, from existing for more than the span of time it took him to steal back what was given away.]
no subject
[YOUR MOUTH, BLACK HAT--! It's more an attack than a kiss and for a horrified moment Flug fears Black Hat hasn't returned to normal at all-- except that weepy sap would never have been this bold. Flug expects to gag, he nearly does-- UGH that breathe must be rancid right now-- but the doctor finds it isn't as revolting as he expected; he supposes that would follow after eating the man's heart. At least something this minor won't trigger his hunting instincts.
He clumsily backstops, bending away, his startled surprise mixing up signals, until the implication hits him like a freight train: Black Hat isn't furious at him. He is not even close to angry, this is not at all how Flug thought this would go!
Despite it all, Flug finds himself gripping back fiercely, determined to give back as much he is gets, even while attempting to pull his face back when a blooming wave of discomfort hits his jaw.]
"Wait, Sir, my tooth--"
[Flug tries to grip the counter for balance and misses--]
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-and then Flug is pressing back and the rising anger cools away. Of course Flug wouldn't leave. Not when he has this.
Black Hat finally takes note of the odd indents in Flug's arm, just as Flug pulls back again, and this time he too breaks away, a look of surprise on his face. Whether it's over Flug's words, the damage on his arm, or the fact that he's realized he's severely off-balance doesn't matter, because with Flug's missed grab for the counter the pair of them topple over entirely.
Black Hat makes a noise best described as a rattling oomph as they hit the floor, but at least he's not the one currently sandwiched between said floor and a sickly demon.]
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"I think I still have most of it. Should regrow w-with the fog. She got my jaw good." [This close Flug can really take in how unwell Black Hat is looking, however. He carefully lifts one of his gloved hands to get a better look of the unusual eye socket, resting a finger just gently below. Is that blood..?]
"Your eye..?" [It's not as though Flug has seen Black Hat sick as it is, but this symptom is worrisome.]
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She...? [Ah. It takes him a moment, but there's really only one 'she' who would harm Flug without cause.] She came after you.
[Of all the blasted things- they're both in a right state, aren't they. Demencia will answer for her transgressions. Fleeing the Organization, attacking Flug, all over a delusion that was never real.
He doesn't answer the question about his eye; indeed, Black Hat makes no indication he's planning to get off Flug at the moment. Instead, he lets his head fall against Flug's hand, a wave of fatigue taking over. His wings go slack, and he simply lays there, resting.]
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This was fine. They weren't lying on glass and with the door still open they were at risk of being discovered like this, but then... they don't have to worry about that anymore, now do they?]
"It's good to have you back, boss."
[Even for merely a week that insanity lasted far too long.]
“Any longer and I half expected you might propose.”
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Bad to have me back.
[Look, Flug, his poor system has been through the wringer, he doesn't want to risk a small trigger setting off another bout of nausea! His hand drops back down.
He audibly groans at the mention of a proposal and turns his head to lay it sideways, undoubtably putting a great deal of hat in Flug's face.]
Hell's bells, I may very well have. [He groans again and shudders.]
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"I didn't take you for someone who would even know much about marital tradition-- N-no offense. Just learning a ritual where you're technically sanctified under someone else, I wouldn't think you would have bothered."
[Not that he WANTS you to propose.]
"Makes me wonder if anyone actually did." [That's at least a bit of harmless schadenfreude they can snicker at.]
no subject
I'll have you know I'm an accomplished widower. Widow too, on occasion. The most lavish engagement rings sell for a pretty penny, a little bonus on top of the estate's value.
[Talking about past misdeeds gives a certain spark to his voice. Black Hat shifts a bit, settling his wings down into a loose fold, the thumbclaws resting on the tile floor on either side of Flug. Very slightly, he arches up into the back rub.]
Oh, probably. What I'd give to see the settling over who legally owns what assets after the divorce.
no subject
"So you have been married?! A-a LOT! To..?" [But HOW? WHY? How could Flug miss this detail?!]
"To.. seize their lands and fortune and oh for evil's sake why didn't I see this coming?"
[That's horrible, and cunning, and mildly hilarious and exactly Black Hat. Flug smacks a hand over his face to cope with the shame. It feels like a quiz he just failed.]
"You're not still..?"
no subject
Most of them had no idea what they were getting into until the moment my ribcage exploded outward and I sprouted extra limbs and a few additional sets of eyes for good measure. The ones that did had deluded themselves in one way or another. Evangeline tried to poison me first; I left her a quarter of the estate's value in the divorce, as well as helping her escape the growing suspicion surrounding her involvement with her previous seven dead husbands.
[He chuckles.] Her descendants are card-carrying VIPs. Twisted to the bone, the lot of them.
[Black Hat turns his head to look at Flug directly now, planting his chin firmly into the arachne's sternum.]
Not still what? Married? [A sharp smile cuts across his face; his tongue flicks out to lick away a trail of blood that ran too close to his mouth.]
Why, eager to raise your tally of homewrecking?
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Mockery! He's being mocked!!]
"No!" [Flug huffs petulantly, averting his gaze. His bag is hiding nothing of his embarrassment but having Black Hat in his face grinning like that does nothing to help. It's not like he WANTS marriage but to be denied something so many others have had before, that he more than is qualified for..!]
"You're oozing all over my shirt." [He complains.
You laugh, you lose pillow privelidges!
Not that he can actually enforce that.]no subject
He laughs again at Flug's petulance.]
Really? I thought I detected a hint of jealousy. [After all, marriage is a very human bonding sort of thing. It's not surprising Flug might crave it. But Black Hat has a very different view of the matter.]
I wouldn't marry you anyway. I'm not planning on having you disappear under tragic and mysterious circumstances, leaving all your earthly belongings to me and me alone.
[He divorced the only spouse who earned a shred of respect from him; Flug has passed that stage some time ago.]
Oozing-? Oh. [His eye. Black Hat grumbles, the brief foray into the past washing away with his present condition. He's a right mess, isn't he? He grabs a handful of Flug's shirt, a part that hasn't been stained black yet, and scrubs at his face.]
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And then Black Hat has to go and answer his complaint with an even ruder reaction.]
"Aaand I suppose I needed to get rid of this shirt." [A victory for Black Hat's personal tastes--! Not that Flug doesn't have others. The eyeball goo not withstanding, Demencia put some sizable claw marks in the side and any traces of her stinger's residue would be unpleasant at best to come across later.
Fine. He's just taking it off. Except he can't, pinned down like this, so instead he'll just, reach for the already shredded parts and start to rip. That eye drip is still worrisome though...]
"We should put a patch over that, might help it to clot faster."
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A victory indeed! Black Hat leaps at the opening.]
Indeed; I'll burn it later and get you a new one. [Something in line with his tastes rather than Flug's - a dress shirt, perhaps, with a proper collar and high maintenance care.
As Flug starts shredding his own shirt, Black Hat cups a hand over his eye.]
It's not injured, Flug, it's... [How to explain...?] It's reacting.
[He's still not making any moves to get up. Lying like this is helping him feel a bit better.]
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"O-oh. That's.. very generous boss, but I can find something." [Though that last admission gives him pause.]
"Reacting? Then it's part of your illness?"
[Makes sense, eyes could water or experience irritation during other ailments. Maybe he shouldn't move Black Hat, Flug got so caught in their banter he forgot how awful the other had been looking when they started.]
"You think it will clear up on it's own?"
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The whole bit about Flug being in that state because Black Hat ate his soul is unimportant.]
No, I insist. [Flug is not taking away a chance for Black Hat to improve his wardrobe and gaining an upperhand in that ongoing stalemate!]
I was forced to act against my very nature for a week. This backlash isn't surprising. I just need- [He coughs.] -to balance the scales, tip myself back in the wrong direction.
[He smirks up at Flug and drops his voice.] You've already gotten a start on that.