Black Hat (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
evilopportunityemployer) wrote2019-04-25 07:38 pm
evilopportunityemployer) wrote2019-04-25 07:38 pm
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[Jack's been having A Time. Ever since those wishscapes...he just hasn't been quite himself. Lots of time locked in his lab or his workshop, lots of time ranting to his raccoon, lots of time at the Red Room getting human and smashed. And lots of time idly entertaining new and interesting ways to kill people.]
[But he's too social a creature to just keep all his thoughts to himself. Besides, he has some questions that maybe some of his buddies are better equipped to answer. Which is why Black Hat gets a text mail alert at ass o'clock at night.]
hey do u think if u stuffed a dude full of really dry hay n grass n reely flammable shit n then tied him out liek on top of a mountin in the middle of summer undr a glass lens, he'd burst in2 flames?
[But he's too social a creature to just keep all his thoughts to himself. Besides, he has some questions that maybe some of his buddies are better equipped to answer. Which is why Black Hat gets a text mail alert at ass o'clock at night.]
hey do u think if u stuffed a dude full of really dry hay n grass n reely flammable shit n then tied him out liek on top of a mountin in the middle of summer undr a glass lens, he'd burst in2 flames?
[Fortunately, Black Hat has been awake for a few minutes, roused from his sleep by the discomfort of old bandages wrapped around raw skin. He's in the midst of peeling them off gingerly, allowing the flesh a chance to air, when he notices the new message alert. Fumbling with the technology and cursing quietly so as not to awaken the minions, he manages to open his inbox and puzzle out who is messaging him.
He takes a moment longer to parse what he's seeing on the screen - somehow, the text is even more atrocious than Demencia's.]
I haven't established consultation hours yet, but I suppose I can make an exception for this.
[Normally he'd charge for his time, but the question is so minor and the distraction from his current pains is welcome.]
In the manner of a child with an ant and a magnifying glass, I take it.
Are you stuffing the grass in his clothes and igniting that, or force-feeding it to him?
[Very important distinction there.]
He takes a moment longer to parse what he's seeing on the screen - somehow, the text is even more atrocious than Demencia's.]
I haven't established consultation hours yet, but I suppose I can make an exception for this.
[Normally he'd charge for his time, but the question is so minor and the distraction from his current pains is welcome.]
In the manner of a child with an ant and a magnifying glass, I take it.
Are you stuffing the grass in his clothes and igniting that, or force-feeding it to him?
[Very important distinction there.]
this isnt a consult this is me bored n thnkin abut shit n i figured ud have thots
yeah same kinda deal. cuz im thnkin both. just stuff that mofo full of dry grass n crap
n do u thnk itd work better on an old dude? cuz whenever u get storys about spont humn combusting its always old ppl. yea yea 1/2 the time its cuz they fell asleep smokin n sum1 made a kewler story outta it but theres sum weird 1s out there
yeah same kinda deal. cuz im thnkin both. just stuff that mofo full of dry grass n crap
n do u thnk itd work better on an old dude? cuz whenever u get storys about spont humn combusting its always old ppl. yea yea 1/2 the time its cuz they fell asleep smokin n sum1 made a kewler story outta it but theres sum weird 1s out there
[Right. Well, he is correct about one thing - Black Hat always has thoughts on horrific and agonizing deaths. Once again, there's a notable delay as Black Hat makes sure he's reading what Jack's written accurately.]
He'd be long dead from burns before the grass in his stomach could ignite, but stuffing him with dry plants beforehand would be entertaining, so long as you don't kill him from that.
Soak it in kerosene to really make sure it lights. Age won't matter all that much, all humans go up eventually.
[He taps his chin, smiling faintly at memories.]
Spontaneous means there's no clear cause. I would consider myself a cause.
[So he's snapped his fingers and set a few humans on fire once. Or twice. Or many, many times.]
He'd be long dead from burns before the grass in his stomach could ignite, but stuffing him with dry plants beforehand would be entertaining, so long as you don't kill him from that.
Soak it in kerosene to really make sure it lights. Age won't matter all that much, all humans go up eventually.
[He taps his chin, smiling faintly at memories.]
Spontaneous means there's no clear cause. I would consider myself a cause.
[So he's snapped his fingers and set a few humans on fire once. Or twice. Or many, many times.]
no c soakin em first defeats the point. im tryin 2 work out how flammable ppl rly r
but u did give me another idea...
hey u got any kerosine n sum time 2 kill? wanna go kill sum ppl w/me?
i dont mean rite NOW but soon
i mean im def gonna go kill sumbody now but i do that evry day
but u did give me another idea...
hey u got any kerosine n sum time 2 kill? wanna go kill sum ppl w/me?
i dont mean rite NOW but soon
i mean im def gonna go kill sumbody now but i do that evry day
The fuel simply makes it faster. You'd get the same results from burning someone at the stake.
[Is this an invitation out? Black Hat takes time to think on it - it has been a while since he's gone on a real spree, the business has seen to that, but beating a man to death in a Bavanite alleyway with a cane had been a thrill he'd forgotten. And this would be even better, for no reason other than murder!]
It shouldn't be too hard to come across. I haven't had ample opportunity to set fire to anyone in a while.
After the fog, perhaps. What, precisely, do you have in mind? [Because he's a bit keenly aware that toying with open fires while wearing bandages on all exposed skin is a recipe for disaster, and ideally this will have healed up by then.]
[Is this an invitation out? Black Hat takes time to think on it - it has been a while since he's gone on a real spree, the business has seen to that, but beating a man to death in a Bavanite alleyway with a cane had been a thrill he'd forgotten. And this would be even better, for no reason other than murder!]
It shouldn't be too hard to come across. I haven't had ample opportunity to set fire to anyone in a while.
After the fog, perhaps. What, precisely, do you have in mind? [Because he's a bit keenly aware that toying with open fires while wearing bandages on all exposed skin is a recipe for disaster, and ideally this will have healed up by then.]
its a thought exersize bddy
sort of
luk ive just been thinkin abut ppl burstin in2 flames
i wanna play around w my eletric tentcls. c if i can use em to make ppl burn. they smoke a lot but i bet w sum kersine r sumtin i could lite em up!
sort of
luk ive just been thinkin abut ppl burstin in2 flames
i wanna play around w my eletric tentcls. c if i can use em to make ppl burn. they smoke a lot but i bet w sum kersine r sumtin i could lite em up!
[Flug does the thought exercises. Black Hat gets results.]
Understandable. It's quite a spectacle to witness.
In my experience, that will work quite well. I'll have Flug procure kerosene, or whatever equivalent he can find in this place.
Do it right, and we can even keep them alive through much of it.
Understandable. It's quite a spectacle to witness.
In my experience, that will work quite well. I'll have Flug procure kerosene, or whatever equivalent he can find in this place.
Do it right, and we can even keep them alive through much of it.
kewl!
yea ive frozen ppl here n zapped em but i havent played around much w fire yet
sweet!
yea ive frozen ppl here n zapped em but i havent played around much w fire yet
sweet!
[Kewl. Kewl.]
We'll simply have to fix that, now won't we?
Contact me when you wish to proceed.
We'll simply have to fix that, now won't we?
Contact me when you wish to proceed.
This is the right address for Black Hat, isn't it?
Are you available to answer a few questions?
Are you available to answer a few questions?
That depends on what your business is. Who are you?
And?
[Black Hat has a suspicion regarding what this is all about now.]
[Black Hat has a suspicion regarding what this is all about now.]
And I would like to know what, exactly, you and Reira did to him.
Why don't you ask the Fog what she did not do for him?
I could. Or I could ask Aunamee himself, since he's back now.
I thought the decent thing to do would be to give you a chance to tell your side of the story.
I thought the decent thing to do would be to give you a chance to tell your side of the story.
And what is your concern in this matter? Friendship? You clearly don’t trust him enough to tell you the truth if you’re coming to me.
Maybe I’ll entertain you. But first, I want to know your name.
Maybe I’ll entertain you. But first, I want to know your name.
Truth's a slippery concept, I find. I trust him to be honest with me. I don't necessarily trust him to be correct, and I should hate to take action on misinformation.
But he is a very dear friend of mine, and I watched him die, so I hope you appreciate that without mitigating context, it isn't precisely a flattering story for you.
But he is a very dear friend of mine, and I watched him die, so I hope you appreciate that without mitigating context, it isn't precisely a flattering story for you.
That depends entirely on what you consider flattering.
I’m not asking again. Do you want my ‘side’? Why I did it? How I did it? Tell me your name.
I’m not asking again. Do you want my ‘side’? Why I did it? How I did it? Tell me your name.
[Regulus's hesitance is largely cosmetic. If he'd wanted to be anonymous, he would have chosen a different username from the one he uses publicly online. This is more a matter of when to yield ground, even a little of it.]
Regulus Arcturus Black. I run the cat café in Bavan.
If you wish to have this conversation face-to-face, that can be arranged, too. Would that set your mind at ease?
Regulus Arcturus Black. I run the cat café in Bavan.
If you wish to have this conversation face-to-face, that can be arranged, too. Would that set your mind at ease?
No, this will do. But I may visit your café if I feel a bit peckish down the line.
[Someone has greatly misunderstood what a cat café is.]
So, Regulus. You want to know why I killed Aunamee?
[Someone has greatly misunderstood what a cat café is.]
So, Regulus. You want to know why I killed Aunamee?
So you can tell him how to guard himself in the future? If you wanted to know that, you wouldn’t have told me your affection for him. I’m not going to give up that information to someone who will use it against me.
As for what he actually died of - starvation, I presume. His dearest Fog god didn’t care for his well-being enough to stop it.
As for what he actually died of - starvation, I presume. His dearest Fog god didn’t care for his well-being enough to stop it.
[OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST INSULT FOG MOM TOO]
I want to know how you did that to someone who was already dead. I want to know how you made it so that he could starve to death while gorging himself.
But if you aren't going to tell me that, I suppose we're back to the why.
I want to know how you did that to someone who was already dead. I want to know how you made it so that he could starve to death while gorging himself.
But if you aren't going to tell me that, I suppose we're back to the why.
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