*** BlackHat has joined 333.07.333.06 <BlackHat> ^J help <BlackHat> help <BlackHat> J <BlackHat> Official business with Black Hat only. Don't waste my time.
"Bad, yes, Of course." [Flug smirks, yes, this is his Black Hat. Flug hadn't known how it was possible to miss someone when they had technically still been around but it was getting hard to argue that the empty husk of his demon employer didn't bare a closer resemblance than the man who weeped at kittens. There certainly is a lot of hat in the arachne's face, he tries to shift his own head to accomodate and still see.]
"I didn't take you for someone who would even know much about marital tradition-- N-no offense. Just learning a ritual where you're technically sanctified under someone else, I wouldn't think you would have bothered."
[Not that he WANTS you to propose.]
"Makes me wonder if anyone actually did." [That's at least a bit of harmless schadenfreude they can snicker at.]
I'll have you know I'm an accomplished widower. Widow too, on occasion. The most lavish engagement rings sell for a pretty penny, a little bonus on top of the estate's value.
[Talking about past misdeeds gives a certain spark to his voice. Black Hat shifts a bit, settling his wings down into a loose fold, the thumbclaws resting on the tile floor on either side of Flug. Very slightly, he arches up into the back rub.]
Oh, probably. What I'd give to see the settling over who legally owns what assets after the divorce.
"Well yes, if you're selling to them, it's easy to price gouge a--" [Wait, no he's talking about actively have been the--]
"So you have been married?! A-a LOT! To..?" [But HOW? WHY? How could Flug miss this detail?!]
"To.. seize their lands and fortune and oh for evil's sake why didn't I see this coming?"
[That's horrible, and cunning, and mildly hilarious and exactly Black Hat. Flug smacks a hand over his face to cope with the shame. It feels like a quiz he just failed.]
[That actually gets a laugh out of Black Hat, a sharp and mocking thing that shifts into a raspy cough. Once he gets a hold of himself, he launches into a regaling of bits of his past, relishing in the memories.]
Most of them had no idea what they were getting into until the moment my ribcage exploded outward and I sprouted extra limbs and a few additional sets of eyes for good measure. The ones that did had deluded themselves in one way or another. Evangeline tried to poison me first; I left her a quarter of the estate's value in the divorce, as well as helping her escape the growing suspicion surrounding her involvement with her previous seven dead husbands.
[He chuckles.] Her descendants are card-carrying VIPs. Twisted to the bone, the lot of them.
[Black Hat turns his head to look at Flug directly now, planting his chin firmly into the arachne's sternum.]
Not still what? Married? [A sharp smile cuts across his face; his tongue flicks out to lick away a trail of blood that ran too close to his mouth.]
"So that's the story behind Miss Evangeline and her family." [Flug whispers in awe. He might not know every client but certain VIP names did stick out, he always wondered how some members got roped in. That line of thought lasts for about five seconds before Black Hat's laughter gets to him.
Mockery! He's being mocked!!]
"No!" [Flug huffs petulantly, averting his gaze. His bag is hiding nothing of his embarrassment but having Black Hat in his face grinning like that does nothing to help. It's not like he WANTS marriage but to be denied something so many others have had before, that he more than is qualified for..!]
"You're oozing all over my shirt." [He complains. You laugh, you lose pillow privelidges! Not that he can actually enforce that.]
[Black Hat confirms it with a tilt of his head. He doesn't bother keeping track of how every single individual comes under his sway; the number is too great. VIP standouts are another matter entirely.
He laughs again at Flug's petulance.]
Really? I thought I detected a hint of jealousy. [After all, marriage is a very human bonding sort of thing. It's not surprising Flug might crave it. But Black Hat has a very different view of the matter.]
I wouldn't marry you anyway. I'm not planning on having you disappear under tragic and mysterious circumstances, leaving all your earthly belongings to me and me alone.
[He divorced the only spouse who earned a shred of respect from him; Flug has passed that stage some time ago.]
Oozing-? Oh. [His eye. Black Hat grumbles, the brief foray into the past washing away with his present condition. He's a right mess, isn't he? He grabs a handful of Flug's shirt, a part that hasn't been stained black yet, and scrubs at his face.]
"Mostly because they already do?" [Flug grumbles beneath his breathe, but Black Hat is right, why does he care about this? Is he actually envious of the dead who were conned into a ceremony that meant nothing? This was silly.
And then Black Hat has to go and answer his complaint with an even ruder reaction.]
"Aaand I suppose I needed to get rid of this shirt." [A victory for Black Hat's personal tastes--! Not that Flug doesn't have others. The eyeball goo not withstanding, Demencia put some sizable claw marks in the side and any traces of her stinger's residue would be unpleasant at best to come across later.
Fine. He's just taking it off. Except he can't, pinned down like this, so instead he'll just, reach for the already shredded parts and start to rip. That eye drip is still worrisome though...]
"We should put a patch over that, might help it to clot faster."
[Black Hat brings his hand up and flicks Flug harshly on the bit of nose exposed by his bag. Their faces are close enough together, don't think he didn't hear that!
A victory indeed! Black Hat leaps at the opening.]
Indeed; I'll burn it later and get you a new one. [Something in line with his tastes rather than Flug's - a dress shirt, perhaps, with a proper collar and high maintenance care.
As Flug starts shredding his own shirt, Black Hat cups a hand over his eye.]
It's not injured, Flug, it's... [How to explain...?] It's reacting.
[He's still not making any moves to get up. Lying like this is helping him feel a bit better.]
[Flug makes a disgruntled noise and scrunches his face at the flick. Okay, that's quite enough jabs at his expense, he is at least going to start trying to prop himself up on his elbows.]
"O-oh. That's.. very generous boss, but I can find something." [Though that last admission gives him pause.]
"Reacting? Then it's part of your illness?"
[Makes sense, eyes could water or experience irritation during other ailments. Maybe he shouldn't move Black Hat, Flug got so caught in their banter he forgot how awful the other had been looking when they started.]
[Black Hat still won't move; instead, as Flug starts shifting around to get up, he sort of... slides down Flug's chest an inch, his back arching slightly. Perhaps a small part of his mind is registering this as a chance for petty payback for the time he had to ever so gently work his way out from below Flug.
The whole bit about Flug being in that state because Black Hat ate his soul is unimportant.]
No, I insist. [Flug is not taking away a chance for Black Hat to improve his wardrobe and gaining an upperhand in that ongoing stalemate!]
I was forced to act against my very nature for a week. This backlash isn't surprising. I just need- [He coughs.] -to balance the scales, tip myself back in the wrong direction.
[He smirks up at Flug and drops his voice.] You've already gotten a start on that.
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evilopportunityemployer) wrote2019-04-25 07:38 pm
no subject
"I didn't take you for someone who would even know much about marital tradition-- N-no offense. Just learning a ritual where you're technically sanctified under someone else, I wouldn't think you would have bothered."
[Not that he WANTS you to propose.]
"Makes me wonder if anyone actually did." [That's at least a bit of harmless schadenfreude they can snicker at.]
no subject
I'll have you know I'm an accomplished widower. Widow too, on occasion. The most lavish engagement rings sell for a pretty penny, a little bonus on top of the estate's value.
[Talking about past misdeeds gives a certain spark to his voice. Black Hat shifts a bit, settling his wings down into a loose fold, the thumbclaws resting on the tile floor on either side of Flug. Very slightly, he arches up into the back rub.]
Oh, probably. What I'd give to see the settling over who legally owns what assets after the divorce.
no subject
"So you have been married?! A-a LOT! To..?" [But HOW? WHY? How could Flug miss this detail?!]
"To.. seize their lands and fortune and oh for evil's sake why didn't I see this coming?"
[That's horrible, and cunning, and mildly hilarious and exactly Black Hat. Flug smacks a hand over his face to cope with the shame. It feels like a quiz he just failed.]
"You're not still..?"
no subject
Most of them had no idea what they were getting into until the moment my ribcage exploded outward and I sprouted extra limbs and a few additional sets of eyes for good measure. The ones that did had deluded themselves in one way or another. Evangeline tried to poison me first; I left her a quarter of the estate's value in the divorce, as well as helping her escape the growing suspicion surrounding her involvement with her previous seven dead husbands.
[He chuckles.] Her descendants are card-carrying VIPs. Twisted to the bone, the lot of them.
[Black Hat turns his head to look at Flug directly now, planting his chin firmly into the arachne's sternum.]
Not still what? Married? [A sharp smile cuts across his face; his tongue flicks out to lick away a trail of blood that ran too close to his mouth.]
Why, eager to raise your tally of homewrecking?
no subject
Mockery! He's being mocked!!]
"No!" [Flug huffs petulantly, averting his gaze. His bag is hiding nothing of his embarrassment but having Black Hat in his face grinning like that does nothing to help. It's not like he WANTS marriage but to be denied something so many others have had before, that he more than is qualified for..!]
"You're oozing all over my shirt." [He complains.
You laugh, you lose pillow privelidges!
Not that he can actually enforce that.]no subject
He laughs again at Flug's petulance.]
Really? I thought I detected a hint of jealousy. [After all, marriage is a very human bonding sort of thing. It's not surprising Flug might crave it. But Black Hat has a very different view of the matter.]
I wouldn't marry you anyway. I'm not planning on having you disappear under tragic and mysterious circumstances, leaving all your earthly belongings to me and me alone.
[He divorced the only spouse who earned a shred of respect from him; Flug has passed that stage some time ago.]
Oozing-? Oh. [His eye. Black Hat grumbles, the brief foray into the past washing away with his present condition. He's a right mess, isn't he? He grabs a handful of Flug's shirt, a part that hasn't been stained black yet, and scrubs at his face.]
no subject
And then Black Hat has to go and answer his complaint with an even ruder reaction.]
"Aaand I suppose I needed to get rid of this shirt." [A victory for Black Hat's personal tastes--! Not that Flug doesn't have others. The eyeball goo not withstanding, Demencia put some sizable claw marks in the side and any traces of her stinger's residue would be unpleasant at best to come across later.
Fine. He's just taking it off. Except he can't, pinned down like this, so instead he'll just, reach for the already shredded parts and start to rip. That eye drip is still worrisome though...]
"We should put a patch over that, might help it to clot faster."
no subject
A victory indeed! Black Hat leaps at the opening.]
Indeed; I'll burn it later and get you a new one. [Something in line with his tastes rather than Flug's - a dress shirt, perhaps, with a proper collar and high maintenance care.
As Flug starts shredding his own shirt, Black Hat cups a hand over his eye.]
It's not injured, Flug, it's... [How to explain...?] It's reacting.
[He's still not making any moves to get up. Lying like this is helping him feel a bit better.]
no subject
"O-oh. That's.. very generous boss, but I can find something." [Though that last admission gives him pause.]
"Reacting? Then it's part of your illness?"
[Makes sense, eyes could water or experience irritation during other ailments. Maybe he shouldn't move Black Hat, Flug got so caught in their banter he forgot how awful the other had been looking when they started.]
"You think it will clear up on it's own?"
no subject
The whole bit about Flug being in that state because Black Hat ate his soul is unimportant.]
No, I insist. [Flug is not taking away a chance for Black Hat to improve his wardrobe and gaining an upperhand in that ongoing stalemate!]
I was forced to act against my very nature for a week. This backlash isn't surprising. I just need- [He coughs.] -to balance the scales, tip myself back in the wrong direction.
[He smirks up at Flug and drops his voice.] You've already gotten a start on that.